ChuckNorris

Chuck Norris is another one of those "110%" people - he held the Professional World Middleweight Karate Championship title from 1968 until 1974, he earned the Triple Crown for the highest number of tournament wins in 1969, he holds black belts in Tang Soo Do and Tae Kwon Do, and in 1996 he was awarded an 8th-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, one of the few Westerner's to receive that honor. In addition, he formed the Kick Drugs Out of America Foundation in 1990. 

 

Chuck Norris Facts:

  • In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
  • Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
  • Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
  • The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
  • In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.
  • Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
  • Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
  • When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
  • There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
  • Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
  • Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
  • Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
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